4 Simple Ways to Strengthen The Relationship You Have With Yourself
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How the heck do you build a healthier relationship with yourself? I know girl, it probably feels far fetch, maybe it even feels impossible. But, I’m here to tell you that YOU CAN and the steps to do so are simple if you’re willing to put in the time and effort. Are you ready to find out the 4 simple ways to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself?
What I talked about:
Be intentional with your words
Call yourself out on your crap
Practice self-compassion
Spend time alone
Link mentioned in this episode:
Episode 23: 5 Steps to Building Unshakeable Confidence
If you want more from me, be sure to check out:
Instagram: @embraceyourreal | @movementwithjulie
Website: www.juliealedbetter.com
Free ebook: www.juliealedbetter.com/free-ebook
Amazon storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-6bda1ca8?ref=cm_sw_em_r_inf_pub_influencer-6bda1ca8_dp_DgsIam9salgfi
Transcript:
Hey. Hey, beautiful human. Can I steal 5 minutes of your time? I have something super important to share with you, but I promise I'll be really quick. You're listening to my weekly bonus episode of Embrace Your Role With Me, Julie Ledbetter. I'm about to give you a quick tip for building your confidence, honoring your body, and unconditionally loving your authentic self. Stay tuned. If you're ready to embrace a real. Let's get it. Let's go.
Hello and welcome back to another bonus episode for simple ways to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself. So how the heck do you build a healthier relationship with yourself? I talked about this a few episodes back. I talked about the importance of the relationship that you have yourself. And I got into so many good conversations with you guys talking about the importance of the relationship that you had with yourself. And many of you guys were like, Thank you so much for bringing that, because I didn't even think about, you know, the relationship that I have with myself as an important one. Like, you think about all the important people that you love and the important relationships in your life of other people. But you have to remember that ultimately you're going to be the one in your body for the rest of your life on this earth. And nobody else is going to experience what you experience in your body. Nobody else is going to have the relationship that you have with yourself like you do with yourself. I know it sounds kind of silly and I know it sounds like something that might feel super farfetched or feel impossible to build a healthy relationship with yourself or like, How do I even start?
So that's why I wanted to give kind of four simple ways to help strengthen that relationship with yourself. So if you have a pen and paper, now's the time to grab it. If not, take some mental notes. You can also write some notes on your phone if you just have your phone by you. But I hope that this helps you. I hope that genuinely there's some tips in here or things that are said that really just help strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself. Before I dove in, I wanted to share the superstar interview. It comes from Lizzzz44. She gave a five star review and said My favorite podcasts. I started off pinning a bunch of Julie's workouts on Pinterest and then thought, Why don't I look up her page? I'm so glad I did because I found out about this podcast and I'm already hooked. It's just the motivation I need to improve my mental and physical health. Thank you for all the content that you produce because it's absolutely so helpful. I'm one and a half months postpartum and I'm using all of your content to get back to me. I love this so much on so many different levels, Liz.
First off, thank you so much for taking time out of your day to send in a review on Apple Podcasts. They genuinely mean the world to me. They just help our team know what is helping you and how this podcast is impacting you, and it also helps us reach new women. So thank you in advance for doing it. If you do schoolchildren Apple Podcast type and embrace your real and liberating interview at the bottom. Also, one other thing I wanted to know is I'm so grateful that you found me on Pinterest.
I have been loving Pinterest this year. It has been a rediscovery. I was on Pinterest so much, really unhealthily honestly, and I've talked about it a lot on this podcast. Just how I'd pin like clean diet like diets, and I would follow these crazy diet plans on Pinterest. And it was just very toxic in college. But it's it's really it's all about how you use things, right? Like the platform itself is not bad. It's how you use it. Right? Just like anything in life. And so all that to say, I have rediscovered my love for Pinterest and I feel like it has been so fun to be back on Pinterest this year. So if you're not already following me on Pinterest and you maybe want to rediscover Pinterest as well, you can type in Julie a lot better and it should pop right up there for you. Also, congratulations on your baby. That's so exciting. I don't know if this is your first one, but either way, so excited for this season of life that you are in. And I'm so grateful that this podcast is helping you get back to your self.
Okay, so let's dove in the four simple ways to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself. Number one, be intentional with your words. Please, please, please know that words are extremely powerful. I'm sure you already know that, especially because when people that we love, when they say hurtful words to us, they hurt. Right. We have to remember, though, the dangers of constantly repeating negative words to yourself because you may actually believe it. What you say about yourself is what you start to believe about yourself, and then eventually that will likely turn into a reality. So, for example, if you're constantly telling yourself that you're fat, you will start to believe that you are actually fat, and it will become a reality that you genuinely start to believe that you need to lose weight when in fact you are not fat whatsoever. You have no way to lose. And because of the thoughts and words that you have said to yourself, you've now created this whole reality for yourself. That isn't even true. But I get it going from speaking negatively to speaking positively about yourself. It's a hard shift. It's a hard kind of shift to go from, especially when it's become a habit, when it's become so deeply ingrained in us. It can feel weird and it can be very, very hard for us to actually believe those words. So instead, I want to encourage you to kind of start here, just start becoming more aware of the words that you say. I know it can be hard to break this habit because it may be something that you've done for years, but it. Genuinely starts with just awareness. Maybe you can't break the habit right away. We need to be realistic here, but you can start to become more aware of when you start speaking negatively to yourself about yourself. So once you have the awareness, you start to catch yourself more in the moment. Then you need to start questioning those thoughts. Are those actually true? Is it really how that is? Is that really how I look like? Is that really what other people are thinking? How do I know? How are you so sure? You have to continue to question yourself so that you start to realize that this is just a narrative that you're making up in your head, and then you have to start changing the words. So once you have the awareness and you understand the falseness of the words that you're saying to yourself about yourself, it makes it so much easier to change the words that you speak to yourself without doing those two things that I just discussed. Changing the words you speak to yourself will feel like a lie. It will genuinely feel like you're lying to yourself. But you have to understand that your negative words are false. And when you speak positively, it will then be easier for you to believe them. Right? Be wary of the words that you use when you talk to yourself. You can accept your feelings without letting them impact your beliefs about yourself. Let me say that again. You can accept your feelings without letting them impact the beliefs that you have about yourself.
Number two Call yourself out on the crap when you catch yourself doing something or saying something that you shouldn't call yourself out. Don't let yourself get away with it. Keeping yourself accountable will help you build a relationship with yourself. It's just like any person that you love, whether that's a spouse, a best friend, a sister, you call them out on their crap and they call you out on their crap as well. It doesn't feel good in the moment, but you're grateful that you have those people in your life with those voices that are calling you out on the times that you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing. So call yourself out when you're not aligning your actions with your goals. Call yourself out when you're saying you're going to do something, but then don't follow through with it. Call yourself out when you don't treat yourself the way that you deserve to be treated and call yourself out when you're not prioritizing the things that are most important that make you feel your best. Don't be your own worst enemy. Instead, be your own accountability partner. Depend on yourself to treat yourself the way that you deserve and find ways to make sure that you hold yourself accountable so that you can succeed the more often you do this. I'm telling you, the more faith and the more confidence you will have in yourself.
Number three, practice self-compassion. So while yes, I just talked about calling yourself out on your crap, I also want you to have compassion in yourself. And this is where, again, going back to the relationships in your life that people that call you out, they oftentimes do it because they love you so much. They see the higher road that you could be taking. They see the other route that you could be taking. And they love you so much that they call you out on that because they know that you could do better or that you could. Whatever the situation is that they're calling you out on. Right. It oftentimes comes from love, especially the people that love you most. So remember that. But also have compassion on yourself. Like when you do call yourself out, be stern about it, take it seriously, but also have compassion in yourself. Remember that you're only human. You cannot be perfect. And you cannot expect yourself to be perfect. Do the best that you can with what you have and have compassion for yourself when you feel like you're falling short. No matter how many systems you have in place, sometimes you're going to slip. No matter how hard you try. Sometimes you just don't have enough time in the day to get it done. And no matter how bad, you just want to do it. Sometimes you just don't have enough energy. It's okay. Give yourself grace. Practice self-compassion. When this happens, what I always recommend is to acknowledge what happened. It's not to turn a blind eye to it. You got to acknowledge what happened, especially if you're trying to hold yourself accountably or trying to hold yourself to a higher standard. Acknowledge what happened. Try to understand why it happened. Think about what you could do differently moving forward. And then just move on. Like, don't dwell on it. Don't feel guilty. Don't throw yourself a pity party. I mean, you can for like 4 minutes, but after the 4 minutes is up, you're done. No more pity party. Like if you want to throw a pity party timer, put it on, put the pity party timer on. And then once that time is up, you were done and you're moving on.
Number four, try to spend more time alone. I don't think that we spend enough time alone. Honestly, this is something that I talked about. I want to say a few months ago. I used to be kind of scared about time alone. Like I was like it felt super weird to me. And honestly, I'm still trying to work on it because I personally just love being around people. Like I find that I get energy from people and I just love. Talking. And I just love being with people. That's just the extrovert in me. And so for me, I struggled being alone. But I think it's so important that we develop that time because when we're alone, we give ourselves space to feel, space to think, space to imagine, to dream, to problem solve, to kind of look at the bigger picture, to understand ourselves and to look at issues from a new perspective. If we're constantly stimulated by others or even stimulated by music, TV, podcasts, Instagram, TikTok, whatever it is, we never give ourselves the space that we need to connect with others. Remember that self inquiry is the first step towards finding out what's truly happening on the inside, which is essential for building a stronger and better relationship with yourself over time. So whether that's going for walks by yourself or going out to eat by yourself or going for a hike by yourself or to the beach or the park or the mountains wherever you live, trying to find creative ways to spend time with yourself and just allow yourself to sit there and like be with yourself and internalize. And I know some of you guys, especially you moms, are like, Julie, how the heck with this even happen? I can't even begin to schedule time with myself. Like, how is that going to happen if you're in the car driving to and from school or driving to and from events and you're in the car by yourself for even a few minutes, try turning the music off, try turning the podcasts off, tried turning everything off and just sitting with yourself for a little bit. Go internal, try internalizing things and asking yourself and just building up that regularity with time, with yourself so that it doesn't feel as awkward and so that you can start to become more aware of your feelings and what you're thinking.
So there you have it. Those are the four simple ways to strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself. Let me recap those really quickly. Number one, be intentional with your words number to call yourself out on your crap. Number three, practice self-compassion. And number four, learn to spend more time alone. If you love this episode, I know you will also love an episode on this podcast. It's episode 23 Five Steps to Building an Unshakable Confidence. I will link that in the show notes below so that you can easily go to an in. If you have a sister, a friend, a coworker, or someone in your life that you feel like would really benefit from this specific episode, I just ask you, share it out with them. You can copy the link, send it to them in a text message. You can also screenshot this and post it up on your Instagram story. I always love connecting with you guys and seeing moments.
That is all that I have for today's bonus episode. I will see you next week. I love you so much. All right, sister. That's all I got for you today. But I have two things that I need you to do. First thing, if you are not already following me on the gram, be sure to do so, @julieadledbetter. Yes, it's with an a in the middle for that Daily Post workout. Real talk, healthy tips and tricks and honest accountability to keep your mind and heart in check. The second thing be sure to subscribe to Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode. Thank you so much for joining me and means the absolute world and I'm going to leave you with one last thought. The most beautiful women that I have met in my life are the ones who are completely confident and secure in being authentically themselves. Remember, that beauty goes so much deeper than the surface. So go out there and embrace real because you're worth it.